Still Alive

Apparently Banned Book Week must have sapped out a good portion of my blogging energy because it has been far too long since I sat to write. Suffice it to say I have also been quite busy trying to maintain my overall health in the face of an interesting schedule coupled with the stress of making sure that all is safe during the event….and then add on that the fact that I am trying to scrape my desires together in order to figure out how I want to approach the rest of my life. Does anyone else think that sentence sounded extremely melodramatic? (and also not exactly a paragon of grammatical correctness, Persephone is going to twitch out just reading it…and this one too 😉 Anyway, poorly phrased melodrama aside, life is not so bad over here. The insane hours do allow for a couple good things, like three full days off that I have been using to the fullest. The fact that they are Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday are even better because we basically do not have to worry about any place we visit being crowded. When I say “we” I am referring to a core group of coworkers that I often find myself in the company of for Monday-Funday adventures. Although I am tired, I am continually awed by the fact that I am blessed with so many fantabulous people in my life. Still, I am getting extremely restless. While there are some aspects of my location that I enjoy (like going to the beach in mid- October, that is really awesome), I have this ache in between my shoulder blades that won’t quit. My coworkers would probably place the cause on the stupidly heavy set pieces I help to move, but it’s more of a constant itch that only starts to get painful when I am ready to move on from somewhere. The uncertainty of my near future is something I am basking within, and I do not fear the fact that I  have no immediate knowledge of where I am going next, or when that where will become a reality. Nor am I intimidated by the possibilities that lie ahead.  As I told a coworker tonight, “One day, you’re going to die. There is nothing in life that should intimidate you in the face of that knowledge.” To some, that statement may sound morbid, but for me it is a reminder not to waste my time being anxious. Once I die, I begin a completely different journey, and I will not be able to experience the things on Earth in the way that I have the opportunity to experience them now. Thus, I welcome the restlessness, I enjoy the ache, because all it means is that I am alive, and that it is time to pursue the next experience God has to offer. That’s enough for me.

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One comment on “Still Alive

  1. Persephone says:

    “Twitch out.” Which is funny. Because I literally twitched.

    I don’t find your statement to your coworker morbid. I find it inspiring, kind of like you. Keep staying alive. I want to see you for Thanksgiving 🙂

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