Comfort versus Desire

Back to work today, and what a fine day it was. My new partner in paint is a fabulous human being that I am thus dubbing Paint Ninja (we’ll call her PNinja for short…the p can be silent ;). The days pass so much more happily with company, and PNinja and I get along swimmingly so that helps extremely. Ren Man (Renaissance Man, I’m into abbreviating my own silliness) is proving an excellent boss, which also helps make the job more enjoyable. I do wish I could give you all the delicious details about what I have been doing with myself, but alas, I am sworn to keep my silence at least until the attraction is open/past. Let’s just say that the description of my job on a day to day basis is usually full of things that the majority of the population will never be able to say they did in their entire career. Anyhow, I find myself in a place of feeling balanced because of various thoughts and decisions that have been coursing through my brain. Although I am not ready to share them in this venue, I must say that admitting to yourself that you are only considering a path because it is comfortable is a scary thing. I mean, there is certainly nothing wrong with a comfortable path, but those paths can lead to places that we later wonder if we ever truly wanted to be there at all. If I choose a comfortable path, comfort will only be a happy side effect to my actual desire. I do not long for comfort. I long to live a life I actually love, not one I convince myself that I love. I know, grandiose words spoken by one who is very young, but youth is only a state of being that my body happens to line up with at the moment. I only hope that as my body ages, the desire to live a full life that I love will only intensify, and thus my drive to pursue it can only increase.

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