A Price I Pay

The last two days have been a bit of blur of work and taking care of a situation with my car. While I don’t want to go into too much detail with the car here, suffice it to say that the growing pains of moving to a new state are super awesome (the same way a root canal is super awesome). Otherwise, I have been working steadily on all sorts of different tasks. I went on an expedition with Goofy and Smalls the other day to move some stuff across the park (top-secret, can’t elaborate), and the rest of my work life is mainly taken up with repairing cords while happily chatting with Sassafras (super cool new coworker) as she fixes lights. Also, I learned how to low-whorl drop spindle as the picture below clearly shows, and I have every intention of test driving the other whorl tonight. I find myself in an odd mix of near-volatile stress and still-water calm as I wind my way through the cantankerous situation before me, and the rest of the goodness surrounding the immediate. I sometimes wonder if anyone else ever has to fight anxiety just to do basic things. For example, the idea of potentially arriving late to work terrifies me. Ridiculous, especially considering how reasonable my employers are, but that fact does little to quiet my stomach. The procedure is simple, my reasons would certainly not be frivolous, and still I can feel myself losing weight just thinking about it (yes I stress off weight, no it is not as cool as it sounds, especially considering that is likely to reverse as I get older). This discomfort does not just extend to the afore mentioned situation, but accompanies almost anything I have to accomplish down to something as simple as calling in prescriptions. However, as I said in a previous post, I find I am making progress in this department. True I will not be totally content until I have all the proper papers in my hand (notice how everything comes down to a piece of paper?), but I also do not rely on any flimsy hope of homeostasis. If it is not this thing, it will be another. Lost mail, forgotten bills, misunderstandings, unknown factors, they are always going to be there. Thus, I work to develop good management habits rather than rely on the world to not throw poop at me, because, uh, yeah right like the world is ever going to stop that service. I suppose we all have our level of maintenance, and mine just happens to be high. But with that comes the trade off of hyper-awareness that allows me to take so much joy in everything around me on a consistent basis. Tis a price I pay gladly, and now off to spin. 


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s