Minor Demons

The sneaky truth about being an “adult” is that it sucks. Okay, not all the time, there are advantages like eating dessert whenever you please and being able to swim in a pool without a chaperone. However, I think the reason people long for their childhood as they get older is that children are blissfully unaware of what I call the minor demons. There are big scary things that face us as adults, like losing a job or a car accident, but most of the things that wear on one’s sanity are the tiny links in the chain that create the baggage of living in the world. Papers proving your identity, papers that prove you are not that other person, policies, bills, meetings, and all the while if you lose one thing (one password, one paper, one card), your world is precariously tipped over and sloshed. The big problems are certainly an issue, but they usually occur less often than the daily little things (sort of like how a shark attack is far less likely than getting bitten by a mosquito). Point is, all these little rules and regulations create a system fraught with anxiety that will never truly stop as long as we are living. But, I suppose it is just asking the dog to play the piano when complaining about such things. Despite this absurdity, a strange thing is resulting from the whole kerfuffle; I am finding myself less anxious then ever. Completely opposite to the suspected reaction, more and more I just say, “Okay, I can’t do anything about this right now, and there is nothing that is going to allow this to happen faster. So, let it go until it can be dealt with.” Beyond just the saying, I am even more awed that the anxiety actually lessens somewhat. I feel surrounded, protected, and buoyed by the Lord in a way that I never had to grasp so constantly before I moved. I am never going to be able to fully relinquish anxiety, that is my thorn. Still, I can always pursue what actually matters beyond the immediate problem. Yes, I think being an adult kind of sucks, but, there are other things to do than worrying about being an adult, like knitting,watching a movie kindly lent to me, and making salsa. Thus, I shall go pursue those things, and the adult thing can totes pick back up on Monday.

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