I Could Smell the Ocean

Today was long and exhausting physically and emotionally. Just had a lot of minor nasty stuff that had nothing to do with work that decided to ooze into the entirety of my day. Yes, a lot about today sucked, but you know what did not suck? My dad running all over creation for my sake. My coworkers being diesel and understanding of my dilemma. But, the best part of today was a moment that no one witnessed, and I only just remembered after railing to God and generally being a pitiful mess for a while. Rather than outline the events that poisoned a good part of my day, I want to share this one moment that was not touched by silliness.

I was out on a project with Baloo, Papa Duck, and two other coworkers who I will thus dub Goofy and Smalls. We were taking care of a laborious task, and each of us were busy with our own portions. As I was walking a cable over to Baloo, I heard a gull squawk. The sound instantly and completely transported me to the beach. It was one of those memories that catches you so much by surprise you feel like you were already there the whole time. I had to pause, smell the salt and the sand caught in wet terricloth and listen to the ocean battering the shore. The memory became a blur of sensations and faces. My dad, sandpipers, roaring, my boyfriend, underwater with the wave passing over, my sister, walking, feet sinking, sea shells, my mom, sail boats bobbing, fishing line…and salt. Always the smell of the ocean lingers on my heart and in my nose. I certainly did not pause for longer than an instant, and I did quickly allow this moment to be eclipsed by my currently cantankerous present. When the moment reemerged, I was struck again by its closeness, and I found myself smiling. These are the gifts that matter, these are the things that determine our experience, these are the moments that will still be important over the course of a lifetime. Right now, I would like to drop kick a few inefficient state systems. Beyond right now, I will get beyond those systems. Through both, I can still smell the ocean.

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